“Men and women are different. Not better or worse — different.”
In this modern age of romance and relationships, the key to success is more Mork and Mindy than Venus and Mars. But not even space-age technologies can bring some men and women together, despite the ability to put all your “romance” on your credit card.
Even after years of evolution(?), men are still hunter-gatherers and women are basically care-takers.* Such is the theory professed by Professors Barbara and AllanPease. Through self-research and self-reference, the Peases attempt to bring primordial sense to a contemporary dilemma: Why men and women will never truly understand each other.
Basing their theory at the base of understanding (i.e., the brain), the authors contend that, simply as a result of their physical mental constructs, men and women see and deal with the world differently and therefore deal with each other in ways that the other may not and may in fact not be meant to fully comprehend. Men — traditionally the mastadon-killers — are more in tune with forward vision and physical abilities whereas women —the tenders of the cave — needed better peripheral vision and sensory abilities to keep an eye on the children and to be aware of possible threats to the homestead. As a result, men are still more interested in hands-on while women are most often more attune to hearts-on. In the workplace, men do while women talk about. In the leisure time, men prefer to “stare at the fire” (i.e., the TV) while women talk about real life. The answer (or closest approximation thereto), therefore, is to put the man’s hand on the woman’s heart, both physically and otherwise.
In their latest collaboration, the Peases discuss the physical and physiological differences between men and women and the mental and emotional practices both can adopt to at least try to narrow the gap between. Dealing with the history of Man/Womankind and its modern implications, they describe “how we got this way” and resolve that, despite our ability to occasionally give a final answer without help from the audience, the real final answer is that “we’re still just another animal.”
So what of this animal? What can and should it do? Unfortunately, this is not a simple answer nor a simplistic part of the larger answer to human relationships, and some parts of the smaller answers are hard enough to swallow on their own. According to the Peases, men cannot lie to women as women are born with a “sixth sense.” And while they may not see dead people, the Peases contend that women can see a dead lie when it comes their way. (Men take note: No more “stuck at the office” calls.)
Further complicating the situation is the varying degrees to which men and women can be born with and/or adopt each other’s abilities. From spatial ability to sexual preference, the Peases argue more nature than nurture, but suggest that both genders try to nurture within themselves a greater understanding of the other’s human make-up so they can spend less time making-up.
How to do this? Unfortunately, there is no map. And if there were, women couldn’t read it and men wouldn’t stop to ask for directions. It’s the nature of the beasts.
